The ways I have changed

My body
has learned another language:
scratches and wrinkles,
bruises,
softened kisses,
sunburns
and long muscle fibers
proof
that I have been
inside this life,
not watching from the side.

My heart
has broken
and melted.
It opened
where it should have closed
and made art
from the fracture,

gold in the places
where I once wanted
to hide the wound.
Kintsugi.

I am no longer
only what survived.
I became beautiful
because I stayed 

with the pain.

I am light
and heavy.
Easy
and radiating.
A little wild.
A little holy.

My mind
has finally become quiet.
Not empty.
Silent.

Innocent,
not naive.
Flexible.

Wise
without needing
to be right.
Understanding
without needing
to judge.
Learning
that not every truth
needs a verdict.

And after all these years
of looking for someone
to hold me,
I found me
My trusted friend.
My own foe.

The one who opens the door.
The one who locks it.
The one who wounds.
The one who heals.

My body bears the evidence,
my heart bears the gold,
my mind bears the space.
and somewhere
between the three,
I became
someone
I had never met before.